不耐烦是情绪而非人格特质
Impatience is an emotion, not a trait
心理学家 Kate Sweeny 及加州大学河滨分校同事的研究提出，不耐烦不是固定的人格特质，而是一种情绪，耐心则是管理这种情绪的过程。作者 Amy Arthur 结合自身排队、搬家延误和等待子宫内膜异位症诊断的经历，认为研究结果令人抱有希望：等待时长本身未必是关键，我们如何看待等待是否公平更重要。她由此认为，就像处理其他不愉快情绪一样，人们也能学会应对不耐烦。
正文 · 原文
Last month, while watching Christopher Nolan’s new epic The Odyssey, I couldn’t help but marvel at the patience of Penelope, who waits 20 years for her husband – the king, Odysseus – to return to Ithaca. Despite no indication of when, or if, he might return, she is steadfast in her wait.
I cannot claim such patience. My husband has never left me to manage a kingdom, but I’ve been plagued by plenty of frustrating waits. I am as impatient about small delays, like queueing at the post office, as I am about the longer, life-altering ones. I remember how exasperated I felt by the multiple delays in moving to our first home, not to mention my impatience now at waiting nine years for an endometriosis diagnosis.
I’ve long assumed that impatience is simply part of my personality. But I recently came across a different perspective: according to the psychologist Kate Sweeny and her colleagues at the University of California, Riverside, impatience is not a fixed facet of who we are. Instead, it’s an emotion – and patience is the process by which we manage it. While this isn’t a novel theory, Sweeny’s team tested it recently with promising results – they found, for instance, that it’s not so much the length of the wait that matters, but how fair we consider it to be.
I find the implications hopeful. Just as we can learn to handle other unpleasant emotions, we can all develop better skills and techniques to deal with impatience.
As with other difficult emotions, one key to regulating impatience is likely to be acknowledging it in the first place. We see this in Penelope: she allows herself to feel the impatience, but finds a way through it. The next time I’m faced with a long delay, I’ll channel my inner Greek queen and know that it’s an emotion I can manage, even if I can’t control the wait itself.
by Amy Arthur
FIND OUT MORE
Why do we feel impatient? It could be down to our evolutionary history, writes Daniel Read for The Conversation.
For a deeper look at waiting, check out the Psyche Guide ‘How To Wait Well’ (2020) by Jason Farman.
来源：Psyche · psyche.co